Friday, July 14, 2006

never lose my faith in humankind...

Current mood: calm

Started off the day today thinking to myself.. "why do people have to be so self centered???" Why is it so hard in some moments not to lose all faith in humankind.... Ended my day on what could have been the same note... Amost got ran off the road this morning.. Damn near scared the crap outta me.. I think that was the closest I've come to my life flashing before my eyes in a LONG time.. And then when I honked my horn at the lady after she almost killed me she flipped me off... I had to fight the urge to drive like a lunatic..cut her off back, and just generally try to out-asshole her... This animalistic part of me so wanted to.. but that quiet voice that never leads me wrong told me to chill out...relax.. and just drive... and so I did... Got to work... the cash drawer was short again... its an everyday occurance.. I wanted to go on the rampage and fire everyone.. just cause I'm sick of trying to figure out which of my employees is a thief and a liar... I didn't though.. I addressed the matter to my higher ups.. wrote up everyone who had worked the shift the drawer was shorted on.. and hopefully continued to show this crew that I mean business and that just cause I'm young, and new doesn't mean they can pull the wool over my eyes or get away with being evil...Anyways.. Got lots done at work today.. finally things are seeming to come together, everyday I get more and more done and I'm finally starting to see the light at the end of the I'm finally starting to see a desk underneath the paperwork... I'm still working open to close.. 13 friggin hours.. but Its lookin alot more like I may be able to actually start cutting back to 9 or 10 hour days late next week.. COOL! =) Anyways.. to finish my day I walked out to my car which I just got back on the road and legal yesterday.. and got in and turned the key....and nothing.. no turn over.. no panel nothing.. As it turns out I had left my lights on ALL 13 hours of my day.. It was raining out this morning and I think the fuse for my "idiot chime" must be out..... So then I look up just in time to see my coworkers pulling out of the parking lot.. so I get out of the car and approach one of the only other cars in the lot that has a human being in it.. and ask the lady for a jump.. I'm standing there in a dark parking lot.. very obviously pregnant asking this woman for help and she says to me "I'm sorry, but I'm running late already" and drives off.... so for the second time today I found myself doubting the goodness of humankind.... Luckily one of the guys over at the chinese resturant was kind enough to not only dig out his cables but stick around for me to jump my car too, knowing that at least people there are some nice people like that defiently helped restore some of my faith!! Lastly.. I arrived home to find a really awesome message from one of my friends and like-minded souls on myspace... I love people who get it and aren't afraid to speak of it... God works in mysterious but wonderful ways... I hear his (her?) voice EVERY single day in all those small subtle ways.. from the wisper of my heart to the words of a kindred spirit.. For all the crap we find outselves digging out of in life, I know I'm not the only one who wouldn't trade any of it.. not the good and not the bad... For all the evil I have seen, even just on a daily basis in all those little uncaring ways that people spread hatred.. I still have faith... In God, and in the ultimate goodness and kindness of my fellow human beings... ALL you reading this.. Help spread LOVE, not hate.. Be the better person, not to prove anything, but just cause its who you need to be! Be kind, it only takes an extra moment... Be humble.. it takes a rare person to see where they fall away from grace... don't ever be afraid to grow and be a better person... Love you all my friends!

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