Monday, December 29, 2008

keep pretending...

Current mood: discontent

I keep pretending..
That things don't bother me...
that we still have a relationship...despite the years and miles...
I keep pretending that it doesn't hurt...

I keep pretending.... and I know without a doubt
that someday I will get my act together...
that I am so sure of who I am at whatever given point in time...
that I am not terrified of being alone for the rest of my life... that I'm not terrified of death...
that I'm not terrified of failure and success... yes and no....
and I keep pretending that the ultimate terror is not LIFE and the simple act of living it...

I keep pretending...
that I don't need anyone as I push them away...
that I know my ass from my elbow..
that I was abused with intent and with a purpose...
that I'm not totally and completely overwhelmed by being a mom at times..
by being a person at times..
and that whenever I shoot off at the mouth it is with the best of intentions...

I keep pretending that I'm not lonely...

keep pretending that I'm not in pain inside and out..

keep pretending that everything is okay and if not, that it will be someday...

I keep pretending that I am immune to the human condition in all its facets...

I keep pretending that I am a vegetarian eating a healthy diet with a healthy lifestyle... though the photographs would tell otherwise...

I keep pretending that I have something to teach...

that I am unique...

that I am not just another sheep....

another desperate single mom...

sometimes a terrible mom...

another welfare check...

another selfish act in a selfish life...

another complete and total failure....

I keep pretending that these tears aren't real...

and that this fear is not there...

I keep pretending....

............................. and it'll all be okay...

Saturday, December 20, 2008

What the hell is our new vice president on?

....and what kind of nasty shit does our new president and administration have in store for us???

Current mood: contemplative

Here is a partial transcript.. of a speech Joe Biden.. (our new vice president elect..) gave to a small.. group.. of campaign donors in late October...... apparently he must have spoke out of turn and said some things that did not go over well with Obama's campaign managers because even though this was in the final weeks of the campaign Joe was basically MIA on the campaign trail after this speech...

October 20, 2008 7:35 AM

ABC News' Matthew Jaffe Reports: Sen. Joe Biden, D-Del., on Sunday guaranteed that if elected, Sen. Barack Obama., D-Ill., will be tested by an international crisis within his first six months in power and he will need supporters to stand by him as he makes tough, and possibly unpopular, decisions.

"Mark my words," the Democratic vice presidential nominee warned at the second of his two Seattle fundraisers Sunday. "It will not be six months before the world tests Barack Obama like they did John Kennedy. The world is looking. We're about to elect a brilliant 47-year-old senator president of the United States of America.
Remember I said it standing here if you don't remember anything else I said.
Watch, we're gonna have an international crisis, a generated crisis, to test the mettle of this guy.

"I can give you at least four or five scenarios from where it might originate," Biden said to Emerald City supporters, mentioning the Middle East and Russia as possibilities. "And he's gonna need help.
And the kind of help he's gonna need is, he's gonna need you - not financially to help him - we're gonna need you to use your influence, your influence within the community, to stand with him. Because it's not gonna be apparent initially, it's not gonna be apparent that we're right.

Not only will the next administration have to deal with foreign affairs issues, Biden warned, but also with the current economic crisis.

"Gird your loins," Biden told the crowd. "We're gonna win with your help, God willing, we're gonna win, but this is not gonna be an easy ride. This president, the next president, is gonna be left with the most significant task. It's like cleaning the Augean stables, man. This is more than just, this is more than – think about it, literally, think about it – this is more than just a capital crisis, this is more than just markets. This is a systemic problem we have with this economy.

The Delaware lawmaker managed to rake in an estimated $1 million total from his two money hauls at the downtown Sheraton, the same hotel where four years ago Sen. John Kerry, D-Mass., clinched the Democratic nomination. Despite warning about the difficulties the next administration will face, Biden said the Democratic ticket is equipped to meet the challenges head on.

"I've forgotten more about foreign policy than most of my colleagues know, so I'm not being falsely humble with you. I think I can be value added, but this guy has it," the Senate Foreign Relations chairman said of Obama. "This guy has it. But he's gonna need your help.
Because I promise you, you all are gonna be sitting here a year from now going, 'Oh my God, why are they there in the polls? Why is the polling so down? Why is this thing so tough?' We're gonna have to make some incredibly tough decisions in the first two years. So I'm asking you now, I'm asking you now, be prepared to stick with us. Remember the faith you had at this point because you're going to have to reinforce us.

"There are gonna be a lot of you who want to go, 'Whoa, wait a minute, yo, whoa, whoa, I don't know about that decision'," Biden continued. "Because if you think the decision is sound when they're made, which I believe you will when they're made, they're not likely to be as popular as they are sound. Because if they're popular, they're probably not sound.

Biden emphasized that the mountainous Afghanistan-Pakistan border is of particular concern, with Osama bin Laden "alive and well" and Pakistan "bristling with nuclear weapons.

"You literally can see what these kids are up against, our kids in that region," Biden said in recalling when his helicopter was forced down due to a snowstorm there. "The place is crawling with al Qaeda. And it's real.

"We do not have the military capacity, nor have we ever, quite frankly, in the last 20 years, to dictate outcomes," he cautioned. "It's so much more important than that. It's so much more complicated than that. And Barack gets it.

After speaking for just over a quarter of an hour, Biden noticed the media presence in the back of the small ballroom.

"I probably shouldn't have said all this because it dawned on me that the press is here," he joked.

"All kidding aside, these guys have left us in a God-awful place," he then said of the Bush regime, promptly wrapping up his remarks. "We have the ability to straighten it out. It's gonna take a little bit of time, so I ask you to stay with us. Stay with us".

Hmmmmm... False.. flag...........

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Where Was Secret Service During Bush Shoe Attack?

Current mood: angsty

pulled this from someones blog I stumbled upon.....its some interesting food for thought...

Where Was Secret Service During Bush Shoe Attack?
By Tommy Christopher
Dec 15th 2008 8:06PM

Filed Under:ePresident Bush, Republicans

Am I the only one who's wondering this? These guys are supposed to be ready to take a bullet for the President. Not one of them could catch up to a shoe? Or a second shoe? Where was the dramatic, slo-mo shot of someone diving in front of Bush to take the footgear that was meant for the President? How was this guy allowed to throw that 2nd shoe?

Say what you will about Bush, he displayed not only good reflexes, but a cool head. That guy could have been throwing anything.

When you think about it that way, it really isn't so funny. Love Bush or hate him, any American has got to see that we can't have people throwing stuff at the President. [Exactly! The SS would have shot him before the 2nd throw, even if they shot others in the room as well. They were not standing next to Bush either. They always follow procedure unless an event is pre-planned to fail. Like Kennedys' assassination. I know the thrower is supposed to be being tortured, but the media has gone wild with the story. Why? Even alternative media gets suckered by the MSM-gov ploys.]
Submitted by mytrueword on Tue, 12/16/2008 - 16:42

Laughing George

Bush Get Shoe Thrown At Him (UNCUT VERSION) During Iraq Press Conference
[George laughs and winks while painful screams are going on. Very at ease. He KNEW he was in no danger. The apparently brutal treatment of the journalist doesn't bother him. The journalist has become a brave hero and rallying symbol for the Iraqis in their hatred of Bush by their demanding the release of the brave journalist. Yet, the whole event could be a psy-ops one to make the Iraqis and others who have disdain for Bush feel they are getting some kind of revenge through what this journalist has done. It is working that way anyway, even though nothing outside of an actual, aggressive Iraqi uprising or judgmental retribution enacted against Bush can punish him for his crimes or cause him anguish and fear. The journalist may be a courageous man, but at this point his action has only provided an emotional outlet for those who cannot stop or change what is being done in Iraq. ]

Currently watching:
The Muppet Movie
Release date: 1993-03-02

Friday, December 5, 2008

ART and CREATIONS - Finally set up shop!!

Current mood: artistic

hey everyone, just wanted to let you all know that I finally have my shop set up for business. I have loaded a bunch of stuff, with more going up every day! Go check it out if you get a moment and let me know what you think! :)

I’m going to go back there someday...

Current mood:EVERYTHING.

This looks familiar, vaguely familiar,
Almost unreal, yet, it's too soon to feel yet.
Close to my soul, and yet so far away.
I'm going to go back there someday.

Sun rises, night falls, sometimes the sky calls.
Is that a song there, and do I belong there?
I've never been there, but I know the way.
I'm going to go back there someday.

Come and go with me, it's more fun to share,
We'll both be completely at home in midair.
We're flyin', not walkin', on featherless wings.
We can hold onto love like invisible strings.

There's not a word yet for old friends who've just met.
Part heaven, part space, or have I found my place?
You can just visit, but I plan to stay.
I'm going to go back there someday.
I'm going to go back there someday.


Currently watching:
The Science of Sleep
Release date: 2007-02-06

Thursday, December 4, 2008

Lennon said "I love you"

Current mood: amorous me for the first time yesterday!!! :) He's been saying it to everyone from his Grampa to the Garbageman for a couple weeks, everyone except me. Cause he usually says it when people are leaving... as a part of his "dyyye! (bye) A YAH YOU! (I love you)" and usually when I am leaving he is busy throwing a fit and doesn't say bye to me.... But yesterday I was stepping out the door to run outside for a minute and he said it to me! So I opened the door back up and said it to him and he said it twice more (just the I love you part).... it was about the loveliest thing EVER. :-D

Currently watching:
Wall-E (Widescreen Single-Disc Edition)
Release date: 2008-11-18