Monday, May 29, 2006

tired of "chit chat" GIVE ME SOMETHING REAL or shut up....

Current mood:Brutally honest

Lately I've just been feeling so antisocial... Its not that I think I am better than anyone else, or that I am a bitch or anything...and its not that I am pregnant and tired...Its just...I am so tired of all the pretending people do...Most of us in the world can count the amount of people who truly love us, and vise versa, on one hand...maybe two if we are really lucky...the rest....yeah you might enjoy their company from time to time...or maybe not even...or maybe they are a friend of a friend you feel obligated to talk to everytime you see them...I am just tired of mindless chitchat with people who don't know me (nor want to know me) anymore than I know them... WHy do we bother with the "I havn't seen you in sooooooo long!! *squeal* how are you!!! hows the kids...hows the house...hows the job....etc..etc..etc... its such bullshit...most of those people don't really give a shit about you when it comes down to it... anymore than you genuinely care about them.... I don't mean to be harsh but think about this.... Get a random aquaintance in your think about how you would feel if in 5 years you heard they had passed away.... be'd say "aww thats too bad...she was so young" or "wow, and she looked so healthy too", or " thats too bad, when did she die" and that'd be the extent of it...How many people would you actually cry and lose sleep over if they disappeared off of the face of the earth... Anyways...I feel like I am ranting...this is just something I have been thinking about... There are very very few people that actually matter in my life and they know without a doubt who they are...I can be nice...I can be polite, and if someone i know is standing in front of me i will gladly say "hello" , and if there is something of SUBSTANCE to talk about, than lets talk.....but I am so fed up with wasting my time (and theirs for that matter) "chit chatting" "BS-ing" and "shooting the breeze" with people who are irrelevant to my life..... If I am going to put the effort into verbally comunicating with another human being...why can't we talk about SOMETHING THAT MATTERS!!! for GODSAKE!! I don't care about the weather, or any other small talk....Its getting so bad that I have a hard time even pretending to care these days...I just assume walk away than be fake... Take it for what its worth...anyways, on that note..I wrote this poem last year at a memorial day party while observing the usual pretend "we're such good friends" bullshit dramatics going on all day.... Note to anyone who cares...IF YOU AIN'T GOT ANYTHING REAL TO TALK ABOUT TO ME...PLEASE DON'T WASTE YOUR (OR MY) TIME....SAY "HELLO" AND KEEP ON WALKING!


People mingle, exchange fleeting words

And unimportant lines of life

Same ole stuff just a different day

Same damn things still stand in your way


Float through life

Children crying, airplanes flying

Another man took a wife

Im still standing

Youre still breathing

Still floundering at our jobs

Your brothers still an alcoholic

My fathers still a slob

Meaning lies in hamburgers, chili, and at the bottom of your drink

Trying to forget the week that lies aheadmy appointment with my shrink

Bare feet trampling the green grass below

Segregated trios of friends exchanging the fakest hellos

Its been a long time and the honest truth is you didnt care, and neither did I

What is it about these party things that leads us all to polite lies

Do any of us really know another

Or just who we think they are

Are we known within the confines of our clothes

And recognized by car

Who got wed

Who split up

Whos dead?

Why does it matter to keep up on these words

Does it change MY life?

Is whats spoken even heard

Speak to me but this time Ill listen

With compassion for who you might be inside

Cant I know the real who you are

Lets all stop pretendingor say goodbye

Currently reading:
The Natural Pregnancy Book: Herbs, Nutrition and Other Holistic Choices
By Aviva Jill Romm
Release date: June, 2003

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