Saturday, August 2, 2008

My update from the hospital - From Kalee

Current mood: blessed
Category: Life

Hello everyone, It is actually me Kalee this time. I am still hospital bound but feeling a little better everyday. Its been a very very hard painful and terrifying road the past month, but believe it or not , one I would not change a thing about. I have had so much time to do some serious soul searching that I feel like I have morphed into a brand new person... I guess staring death in his big ole bloodshot eyes will do that to a person..... The roughest past of this has been being away from Lennon..... its been around a month since I've really been with him...Which sadly (and obviously among other things) means he was involuntarily weaned... and today he came to visit for the first time and cried and wanted nothing to do with me... I guess it's to be expected based on the circumstances....

Meanwhile the rest of my bonds with my family have grown and strengthed in ways I never could have concieved.......I have a very limited batterey life to be writing here so I can't really go into details of my sickness, but suffice to say that its one of those diseases that there is not textbook on and its a 50 50 crapshoot..shot at making it through..... some of my treatment involves removing all of my blood and plasma and replacing it with donor plasma, to keep my kidneys from shutting down.... sort of like dialysis.... DOn't want to scare you all too much, and so far it is working so its a good thing!! my battery is low, but I just wanted to touch base with everyone and let you all know I'm still alive and kicking.... not planning on leaving you all anytime soon! I've realized how much more living I NEED to do and I'm fighting this monster with all I got in me. on some positive notes, I have met some absolutely amazing people during all of this. One or two that I could concieve of being lifelong friends with,and others that I'll probably never see again but who have changed me forever for the better. I have seen love and compassion in this place that I've had never concieved existed.... Which is why............... I have decided that my calling in life is to become a NURSE. As soon as I am back on my feet I have decided to attend nursing school! It goes much deeper that I can explain here, but the things I have seen and people I have met have inspired me so much and the more I think about it it and meditate on it the more sense it makes for my life and who I need to be to be fulfilled. I plan on incorporating my love of all things hippie and natural of course, but I have learned so much about the very necessary place of western medicine and how the two could be used in conjunction to save so many lifes and give care and comfort..... Anyways I ramble as usual (some things will never change ;)) I have a few other things I need to do before my battery dies...... I just want to finish up by telling you all I loved you so much and am so very greateful to know you all and to be so lucky to be abe to be here to tell you all this... Please don't take life for granted... take it from me that it is the most precious and fragile thing..... Make the most of it, I intend to from here on out.... The hope is that i'll be out of here is the next week or two.... In the meantime I would love and welcome any visitors and company... I'm a little puffy and mishapen but II'm feeling more life myself each day! I'm at hartford hospital and have been moving rooms quite a bit but If you ask for mmy info at the desk you should be able to track me down. Currently I am in Bliss 1126-2 and my direct linw is 8605450673. I look forward to hearing from some of you all! These four walls are getting a little old! ;))) Love and Peace my friends!

Currently reading:
Running With Scissors
By Augusten Burroughs

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