A letter to you.
Can you imagine that YOU are the you I am speaking to?
Well YOU are.
You, my lonely loner lover, loving blooming girl with the long long hair and the crumbling stone tower around her bandaid heart.
You, the band geek boy with the boner behind the notebook, the topsy turvy smile, and the heart of gold the most valuable bit in your pocket.
You, the wounded broody mama, without the energy or desire to still nurse baby chicks but without the will to leave the crowded nest.
You, the one I grew with… the one I died by… fingers to the bone and crying eyes, who has begged the empty skies to open up and take him instead of the rest…
You, the sister and brother behind your glass walls, littered in red stamped letters, dollar signs and fake smiles… Choking back tears and forgetting dreams of mountaintops…
You, the brother and sister who feel something is missing, and something is very wrong with everything you know. Filling holes and spaces with more play, nothingness, and a beer.
You, the brother and sister-who-never-was… I LOVE YOU. I love you truly. I love you BOTH. I love you all. And what more need be said that is not already known.
You the brother and sister, young still in heart and mind, but stuck in all the couldn’t, shouldn’t, wouldn’t, don’t, won’t, can’t, haven’ts of a broken world, numbing the pain and dulling your wits.
You, the sister sometimes with an s… always trying to catch up to the long tan legs in front of you… turning heads and taunting hearts… running from the wrinkle in time…
You, the friends of times gone by, still carved on each others memories, names and faces, dates and places,
Torn by change… “I knew she’d never change”, “I wish she woulda or wouldn’t have changed” and the occasional “I wish I could change”.
And yes, maybe it’s even You, the baseball cap or blonde bangs in passing… the 5 “hello”s at a party, in the hall, or in the IGA. Or the pair of eyes attached to the mind I may have linked with for 30 seconds at a festival 5 days or 5 years ago…
It could be YOU. It might be you? It is YOU.
YOU are fucked up. You are cut and scratched. Dented and bruised. Malicious, Manipulative and Manipulated. Used and Reused. Unholy thoughts and unintentional lies. Unfathomable jealousies and indisputable insecurities. You are the tortured and torturer in turn. You are the very same breeding ground of everything vile and nasty within the human race. You are the embodiment of every abomination… in your mind. You are somebodies fool. You are just another nobody in a sea of faces….
And I LOVE YOU.
You are BEAUTIFUL. You are BLESSED and a BLESSING. You are magnificent in your UnIqUeNeSS, You are POWERFUL. You are STRONG and SENSUAL. You ARE Energy. You are AMAZING and BRILLIANT. You are LOVED beyond your wildest dreams, and you are capable of astounding, astronomical, amounts of LOVE. You are YOU and you are the best and most qualified at that job, even if in your own way, YOU aren’t quite up to the task at the present…. And my hope for you is that you know that, discover that, and always believe that. You are a lovely, lovely, loving, creature created of LOVE. And LOVE is the one and only answer my Dearest.
So my BELOVED YOU…. I want to ask you a few questions about wants and needs… What do YOU want. If you could have it all…. What do YOU really want? If you got it would you know it? Would you want it? Would you abuse it? Fear it? Love it? Would you turn and bolt? Would you embrace a new reality? A smile in your heart or a new burden on your shoulders? Thoughts? The lottery? The perfect mate? Sixty pounds and new pair of knees? The super fly car with all the fixings? The house on the hill? The farm down the road? The shanty in the mountains? The workshop in the sunshine? The same last name? The respect you deserve? The perfect religion? If you had it tomorrow.. If it arrived on a train or on your bank statement… what baggage would be dangling from it’s hands? Would it be what you thought it would? Would it lighten your life? Add light to your life? Or would it be another cloud to block the sun? another nail in your coffin? Another bug in your spoiled, spilled milk? You could still be happy couldn’t you? I’d bet you could. So what is it you want? ……You know you want something. SOMETHING. What is it? What is IT? Is it what you NEED? So what DO you NEED? Is it the same as what you Want? Do your needs and wants see eye to eye? Or given the chance would your wants and needs arrange to have each other drawn and quartered? If you got what you needed but it wasn’t what you’d wanted to need would you still keep it? Adjust your wants to fit your needs? Wants…. Needs… they sound so much alike… and yet so different. Do you need anything? Do you have everything you need? If not, what are you lacking? Why is it crucial to your happiness? How can you change yourself to either find or have what you need or so that you need less. Want less? What will it take for you to be happy? Perfect Health? Money? Love, my love? My love….If you don’t know……… isn’t it time to find out?
God, Goddess, and CEO of Heartswiseaunti Industries.