inside every cynic...

it is true what they say...
because sometimes in the early morning hours
when I lie awake
I can FEEL it happening...
slowly yet surely as watching the grass grow
on a hot summer day

Options become fewer every passing moment
these lives I've lived... this soul...
its purpose to EVOLVE
yet I am unsure how in this life...
big ideas and all the times I've fallen...

everywhere I look the noose is tightening
the possibilities of an acceptable life in
the eyes of the monster that is a general consensus
specifics more intensified...
can't help but feel it is all a lost cause...

what good is understanding if none will hear it?
and it simply becomes a way to feel worse and worse
about the state of the world about
cycling back to realize that perhaps my view
from this window is simply a reflection...

here it comes my friends terror
and that same ole urge to RUN
as fast and far as my 10 dollars will carry...
we could join up with some gypsys
Lennon and I
a flock of weirdos like I've always aspired for
and maybe just for a moment or two
I could live a life that is my tru-STOP!

here comes that voice again...
it'll never work
never happen
never understand
never recover
never
never
never
never
how about the little house?
the big garden?
nope
nope
never
never
the partner?
doesn't exist
never will
all the things I wanted to teach my boy?
they'll never let you get away with it...
there is only ONE version of it all to be taught
and guess what sweetheart...
YOURS ain't it...
there's only one place you're going....
have I told you about the nice soft walls?
.....
.....
.....
.....
...the only constant is change
and I do, but it never seems for the better
I look back and all I see is that yesterday
there were more possibilities than today
maybe I am wiser now...
or maybe I am JADED now?
experience is bullshit
I miss living by FEEL...
maybe I was naive... but I WAS REAL.

If only I hadn't...
If only they didn't...
If only I could've...
If only I could face forward fearless
If only it wasn't so hard to just BE ME.

I think it's true what they say...
inside every cynic is the crushed soul of an optimist
the stolen dreams of a aspiring revolutionary
and the shreds of a far too large heart.