This black cloud

Current mood: tested

I feel sick to my sstomach right now.... and am fighting off a full on panic attack, awaiting blood results my Dr. ordered "STAT" today.... they should be back already and haven't heard anything yet.... depending upon what they see Dr. said I may end up back in hospital tonight..... I'm so sick of this dark cloud looming overhead... every other day they tell me it might rain, and I never know if its really going to, or if its gonna pass over again.... I keep having to look at Lennon as if it is the last time I may see him for awhile.... and every night I sleep in my bed I wonder if I will be so lucky the next night... I'm sick of being sick... I just want someone to tell me that this will all come to an end at some point and I will be okay.... I just want someone to be able to tell be that I will live to see my baby grow up... but I will just keep hoping and praying and fighting cause thats all I can do I guess....

Currently watching:
Pixar Short Films Collection, Vol. 1
Release date: 2007-11-06